Introduction
Contentment (n.) - a state of satisfaction.
It is, perhaps, with a bit of irony that we commence this project with contentment. But then again, maybe there is no better way to open a project on growth than by accepting, with satisfaction, where we begin.
Contentment has recently enjoyed a moment in the spotlight as a companion to the minimalism movement. And while contentment can assuredly be a stand against consumerism, contentment is not only a rejection of more stuff, it is a rejection of more altogether. [More things, more status, more people, more security, etc.]
It is a recognition that where we are, as we are, is a good place to be.
Contentment is a mixture of gratitude and presence (or mindfulness); a recognition that life is both wonderful and hard, and that we have the emotional capacity to feel both the wonderful and the hard (often simultaneously). It is an understanding that our worth was born with our bones.
Contentment is assuredly not complacency. We can be content while nurturing growth, and we can be content while holding very real goals. Contentment, however, means that we do not allow ourselves to become unsettled in our journey toward our goals. Nor do we allow our doing (or achieving) to define our worth.
Research in psychology indicates that the human experience of contentment broadens human attention and encourages new, imaginative, and exploratory ways of thinking and being in the world. It allows us to develop more complex understandings of ourselves and of the wider world around us.
So then, contentment frees us from preoccupation with our past or our future, from striving for more for the sake of more, from seeking perfection, from struggling to eliminate or diminish hardship. Contentment offers a more intricate and integrated understanding of identity, belonging, and human living. It allows us to orient ourselves to the place we find our feet.
And in doing so, it offers a sense of peace as we honestly and gratefully take our place in what Mary Oliver calls, the “family of things.”
Week One:
To Affirm: I am where I need to be.*
To Kindle: Be present. Take a sensory walk. Leaving electronics behind, head out on a walk with intent of focusing on your sensory experiences. Note what you see, hear, smell, feel, and even taste. Paying attention to our senses is a practice in mindfulness.
a. For Kids: Take a sensory walk.
*Sometimes, this is not true. Particularly if we are in an abusive or toxic relationship and/or environment. In those cases, we are assuredly not where we need to be; we need to seek support and get out.
To Affirm: Not all questions have answers. Not all questions need answers.
Week Two:
To Kindle: Note It.- Make a Lovely List. Make a list of things that are going well, things you are grateful for, things that you love about yourself. Note affirmations from others, or moments that make you smile. Keep this list somewhere easily accessible (on your phone, perhaps?) Visit and revisit it often.
a. For Kids: Make a Lovely List OR help them make an “I love me” list- noting solely things that they love about themselves. This is a great opportunity to reinforce self-concept and to boost self-esteem as you visit values that are important in your family (I am kind, I am a good friend, I help people, etc.) Of course, if they love their eyes or their fast running legs, note these, too. (These can be great opportunities for conversation- what beautiful things do your eyes let you see?) Research indicates that very young children tend to have high self-esteem, which dwindles as they age. Starting the practice of speaking love to ourselves young, can help boost self-esteem as children begin to craft and take ownership of a personal identity.
Week Three:
To Affirm: I can hold joy and sorrow (good and hard) together.
To Kindle: Savor It. Take time to slow down and savor something that you typically rush through. Love that first cup of coffee in the morning? Schedule 15 minutes to sit in peace to sip and enjoy. Look forward to a hot shower? Get up a few minutes earlier than normal to take time to savor the experience.
a. For Kids: Set aside 15 minutes this week to engage with your child in their favorite activity [no phones or other distractions allowed]. Head to the backyard or to their favorite park, get out the legos, or their favorite art supplies and get messy as you savor time together. Allow your child to lead the conversation and to direct the play. Connection is a key component of contentment.
Week Four:
To Affirm: My worth is inherent. My worth is immeasurable. My worth is unchanging.
To Kindle: Repurpose It. Get your creative juices flowing and find a new way to use something you already have. Restyle that shirt, turn a broken mug into a mosaic- or glue it together to use as a pot for a plant. There are no limits here; your imagination might just enjoy the workout.
a. For Kids: Find a new way to play with an old toy. Need some help getting started? Use toys as props in a theater production, create an obstacle course for your dolls or trucks, or see what patterns and textures you can make using toys as stamps with paint or play-dough. (Note, this activity not only helps us spark contentment, but also builds imagination, problem solving, and critical thinking skills).
EXTRA CREDIT
Reframe It. Reframe something that you “have” to do into something that you “get” to do.
(i.e. That frustrating business report is an opportunity to document your growth. That pile of laundry is an indication of days well spent, of fun had, of people you get to love.)
To consider:
What is something that you never want to change about yourself? How can you celebrate and honor that?
What are you excited about right now?
Where do you experience peace? What about that place / space makes it easy to breathe?
